And you don't have to understand it all. Or read it for that matter. But you are here so I guess I should give you something.
Constantly, it's occurred to me that I take more interest in everything I don't understand and for some reason once I can understand it then I neglect it. For instance, I'll read someone's thoughts on their blog or see someone on T.V. or just life in general and I'd really wish I had gotten to know them more. The rest of the day, I'll find myself constantly thinking about that person I'm only given a snippet of information about, not able to completely summarize them. I start to wonder what my life would be like had they somehow been able to contribute something to it or I to them. I wonder about how other things could be different if I had done something else in a split second that could have altered my entire future somehow, but I just go on living, assuming that these things happened to me because of some reason or another. Suddenly, I become deeply and erratically paranoid over everything I do, be it a few seconds or a few years ago, and I start to wonder whether I'm doing the right thing, or if I do this, then it may affect that person. Or could some decision I deemed insignificant at the time really lead to my own death? Well, it seems crazy to think that I deserve life more than anyone else deserves it. And it becomes instantly, painfully clear that I should be waking up by now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Mmm. I think I understand what you're talking about. Sometimes I get freaked out that something horrible will happen over something stupidly insignificant and I get really insecure. And then I get inscure about being insecure and paranoid about my insecurity being the root of the "something horrible".
But the key is to stop worrying about the "what-ifs" of life, stop all the neurotic mess and start doing whatever you want because a little Rage Against the Machine will solve all your problems. Right Burty?
And don't tell me I'm cheesy because I already know that! >.<
Hm. I sound pretty stupid when I have a cold. Please remind me never to write anything when I'm feeling sick. Ignore above comment.
I am the same way as the first part. I always analyze everything, especially people. I like to try and figure out why people act the way they do, why they think what they do. I guess the way people interact just interests me. I don't know why.
Like, right now, I'm wondering how you will react when you read this. Or how Marissa will react, if she reads this.
I wish I was Edward so I could read minds. Or be invisible, so I could see everything that goes on when I'm not there.
I wish sometimes I had compassion like Carlisle. I always envied that everyone likes him and they listen to him. And sometimes I wish I could help people but most of the time I just end up making it worse. Then I feel even more helpless. But I like to think that I'm getting better..
Marissa- I feel stupid whenever I post about something I think about in the middle of the night! Still can't believe you guys read these >.<. But I love cheesy! I think it just shows you're not afraid of people thinking you're a dork =]
Alyssa- Well I could help you out. When I read Marissa's post I lawled and yours made me feel a little less lonely.
Thanks, guys ^-^
I've never really thought about compassion like that, as a power... I think I'm a pretty compassionate person..
And, thanks. I'm glad I could help you be less lonely.
I love how Alyssa considers compassion as "hey, I'm gonna steal Marissa's cookies today! Tum-de-dum-de-dum..."
haha, kidding though. ;D
Haha but Marrissa, you always have those yummy lunchables! :3
I hardly ever have to pay for food xD
Post a Comment