Sunday, February 22, 2009

I may be paranoid, but not an android.

Sometimes, I can feel my own shadow sneaking up on me. It's really annoying because it can take the shape of any object, really. I'll walk past bookshelves and jars will crash just inches behind me. I wake up and see a stuffed lions mouth, dripping with saliva, about to devour me. My shadow's a coward though, that's why it prefers the dark, and it freezes in terror if I catch it red-handed. I mean, if a shadow did have hands...
Nevertheless I'm growing very worried for my family and my own well-being. Just trying to open the door to my own house, the slight clink-clink of the keychain and the heavy clunk of the deadbolt releasing was enough to make me jump a few feet back. Still, I'm afraid arming myself would only get me in more trouble. Just how exactly, would I stab or shoot a shadow anyway? I only have to look it in the eye... that's it! I'll wire surveillance cameras throughout the house and rig a series of traps for the shadow! If I see any mischief, all I'll have to do is press a button and I'll have it captured! Oh, finally my family and I can rest in piece!
It's the next day. Time to check the tapes... what the? How could this have happened?!
"No that can't be true! The shadow must have figured it out! I was only trying to help! I swear!"
"Oh, really? These surveillance tapes tell a different story."

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